Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

I’ve been touched by fame

OMG. I’m so excited. A comment I made yesterday on this post at Rants From Mommyland, got quoted today in this post!!! I feel like I have been called out by movie stars. Kate and Lydia’s blog absolutely cracks me up. And they are extra famous now after being published on the Huffington Post Blog.

It’s almost like the time when I was kid and a girl that I took dance lessons with had a bit role in a made-for-TV Jane Fonda movie. I was so close to fame then.


Guacamole should have been here

This is a molcajete

It should have been picture of a molcajete overflowing with the most delicious guacamole ever but once I started making it my mind went blank of everything except eating it and didn’t clear up again until I had licked the bowl clean. So I forgot to take a picture.

The recipe I use is from Williams and Sonoma.  It came with the molcajete, which was a wedding gift. I mean I registered for it but I never would have bought it on my own. I registered for it because a) it looked freakin’ cool and I could imagine having it setting out on display in my kitchen and b) the best guacamole I had ever had to that point had been made at my table in a restaurant using one of these things.

I’ve tried a bunch of different recipes for guacamole since acquiring this gadget but have never come across any that consistently turn out this delicious. I thought I would share so that you might enjoy too. You don’t need the giant mortar and pestle but it doesn’t hurt.

1 ripe tomato- diced

2 tbsp finely diced white onion

1-2 (depending on taste. I use 1) serano chiles, seeded and finely chopped. Note: You will want to use goves when working with these little f’ers. No matter how many times you wash your hands, the burn stays and god help you if you touch your eyes. I had to be especially careful last night since I knew I could have to tend to a baby at any point)

1/2 tsp sea salt (I use more. Much more)

1 tbsp fresh lime juice (Fresh dammit)

Combine the above items in the molcajete and grind them into a paste. If you don’t have one, you can use a blender or if you like things chunky just leave them as is.

Add 2 avocados and cilantro (I use this because when I buy fresh herbs I end up wasting half of them and this is really quite good. )

Mix, mush, stir, pummel whatever to the consistency you desire. I like mine a little on the chunky side but I know a lot of people who like is smooth.

Finally, and this is crucial, serve it with Hint of Lime tortilla chips. You won’t be sorry.

Make this for someone you love and they will love you just a little bit more, in return.

Happy New Year!!!

I’m cross-posting with my other blog today.

Happy New Year! No, I’m not Jewish but it is New Year’s around my house. Sure we celebrate January 1 and some of us even celebrate the beginning of the school year but today, this is what is all about. Only some years it is yesterday. It is the beginning of the Baltimore Ravens football season and in my house it is what the year revolves around.

I wasn’t much of a football fan when I met my husband but he is passionate and a season ticket holder so my choices were to either continue to ignore and spend September through January (or February!!) not being able to talk to him about the thing most on his mind or I could learn to love and enjoy it with him. I chose the latter and have never regretted it. It is so much fun to enjoy football with him. Plus football= fall and what is there not to love about fall.

So tonight we’ll put the baby to bed and I will whip up some superfantastic guacamole (another reason to love football) and we will celebrate the New Year. Who needs a kiss at midnight when you can kiss at the first touchdown of the year.

And of course:

What better reason to have kids than to use them as banners to support the team.

Goodbye Hank, Hello Dirt Girl (and your annoying accent).

In preparation for the upcoming fall television schedule, I have to do my annual re-evaluation of the shows I watch and decide whether they remain DVR worthy or if they will have to be cut adrift to make room for something new and wonderful. In doing this I’ve realized that motherhood has ruined my ability to watch certain shows. I think I’m kind of pissed about it.

Law and Order: SVU. Man I loved this show. The story lines are so good and engrossing. It also has Ice_t and that allowed me to frequently make jokes about Coco T. That’s a plus in any show. However, frequently the episodes feature characters guilty of doing horrible things to little girls. And now I have a little girl and a brain incapable of not connecting the two. Watching that show reminds me of what sick fucks there are in the world and puts me one step closer to locking Buttercup in her room until she is 45.  So goodbye SVU, you will be replaced by Running Wilde. Will Arnett and David Cross, I’m giddy just thinking about it.

The ID channel. OK, not so much a show as an entire (freakin’ awesome) channel. See, I love (love) shows about true crime and murder. I don’t know what that says about me, but Dateline, 48 hours, City Confidential, you name it. I can watch it all. That’s what is so great about the ID channel. That stuff is on 24 hours a day. Up with insomnia in the middle of the night? There’s something worth watching on ID. Bored on a Sunday afternoon? Sick of reruns? You get my point. I could watch this channel for hours. But now I live in a house with ground floor windows and sometimes I’m home alone with a baby to protect. Suddenly everything I’ve learned about the Nightstalker comes rushing back and I realize that I’ve got to stop letting these shows into my brain. I’m also a little afraid that if I watch too much of that stuff around Buttercup she’ll become desensitized to the horrors and end up like Dexter (which I’m totally not giving up).

Californication: This one hurts. This show makes me laugh like no other but I’m afraid of watching anything so dirty within a one-mile radius of my daughter. (Are there any real people that actually have that much sex? That much freaky sex? It exhausts me and makes me glad I live on the uptight east coast.) Even if she is sleeping, it would just feel very, very wrong. I think that show can actually corrupt a young innocent mind just by showing up on the guide listing.  I would also like to prolong the time until she meets guys like Hank, very bad men who are very, very charming. Collini, out!

I’ll miss these shows but I guess it’s best that I start making room on my DVR for the part of parenthood I’ve been dreading the most; children’s television, like Dirt Girl and her creepy, creepy grub friend.


I’ve become one of those people. You know the ones who always have an excuse as to why they can’t work. They have to leave early to pick up so and so at the airport, they’re late because of traffic and they’re absent because of some other drama. Individually each excuse is understandable and not a problem, but you know these kinds- it’s every.single. day and you’re like, “you do realize you have a job, right?”.

Anyway, that’s me now. Prior to 2010, I had never once called in to work. I took days off but they were always planned ahead (I don’t like surprises) and if I was sick I just sucked it up (yep, I was one of those people then- people who bring their germs to work). I had mono a few years ago and didn’t miss a single day of work. I may not be the greatest employee ever but, by God, I was there! So, 15 years, no call ins- this past week, three!

Two were for a sick baby and this morning it was the car. I started out as normal, dropping off the baby at daycare, sobbing in my car because I missed her already, and getting on my way. As soon as hit the freeway for my 40 mile drive, something was wrong. The car was shaking and the engine light came on.

I bought this car 5 years ago as a present to myself after completing my MBA. My very first brand new car. It’s not fancy but it is German, which is German for “expensive to maintain). I discovered this a few weeks after I bought it and  I managed to destroy a tire by running over a nail (apparently they are made of fairy wings and can’t be repaired) and had to pay $225 for a single tire because it required some special “touring” tire, which is ridiculous because the only things I was touring were DC traffic jams. And a few months later when I found out that regular oil just wouldn’t do, it required some beechwood-aged, hefeweissen  bullshit synthetic crap that cost about as much as an actual trip to Germany. So, as you can imagine when my car acts up, I get a big pain in my wallet.

I limped the car to the garage, signed in blood and leaped over a series of hurdles to get myself to work. Cab ride home, get behind the wheel of rickety old truck held together by rust and old gum sans AC, drive manual transmission for the first time in about 5 years to the middle school where my husband teaches, spent 15 minutes attempting to enter school through a door so complicated no one over the age of 14 can work it, trade keys with Scott and finally, two hours after I first started, I was on my way.

As soon as I got to work, I got a call from the shop with the diagnosis: something, misfire, something, eight years salary, something, and oh, we went ahead a performed a safety check and these are the things we found wrong. We noticed you had a car seat in your backseat so we knew you would would probably want to get all of this stuff taken care of. Translation: Make all of these expensive repairs or you are a horrible mother no better than Susan Smith or Andrea Yates.

So I steeled myself for the final total, a normal amount multiplied by the Farfegnugen factor = $1 Googleplexian, and gave them the go ahead.

I’m currently trying to decide whether to pay by check, credit card or firstborn.

Fun is subjective

Last night my stepson was being punished and got sent to his room for the evening. Understanding that the idea was that he not have fun, he nervously requested permission to do pull-ups and push-ups while he was on punishment.

This is the same kid who’s most prized possession is his Iron Gym and got upset earlier in the year when he wasn’t allowed to take it on vacation to an amusement park. How could he possibly have any fun without it?

That’s mommy’s Thin Mint

Here’s what I don’t understand. I would lay down my life for my daughter in a second, so why can’t I lay down the cookie?

As you might have gathered things aren’t going great on the diet front. I mean they are horrible but I’m kind of at a stand still and have gained a little. I have been on a sweets bender for about 2 weeks now. I can’t fight the sugar cravings.But I want to. I need to. I read another article just this morning, <a href=”” ;discussing that increased obesity in children may be causing them to start puberty earlier, as early as SEVEN YEARS OLD!!! That is crazy. We’re doing everything we can to keep exogenous hormones out of her system, hormone free and organic foods, bottled water, etc but preventing her from becoming obese is solely my responsibility. I don’t mean that my husband can just wash his hands of it, but nothing will influence her eating habits more than my eating habits.

On that note, I’m going to try to eat as though I was sharing my food with Caroline at every meal. In a way I am still she is still nursing, but I wonder if I would be so quick to eat those cookies if I had to feed her half of them.