Something gained

How different things are than they were a few years ago. I don’t mean because I’m married or because I have a child. I’m talking about this.

That is a video. On the Internet. Of me in a bathing suit. And I put it there!!!!! I am fat and I look awful and I don’t care. I mean I care, but the fact that I was in a bathing suit didn’t really dawn on me when I posted it. The fact that I was in a bathing suit didn’t really bother me when I was doing it.  The day was about fun on the beach with my baby and if that meant I had to be in a swimsuit than so be it.

Five years ago when I was skinny and had time to really care about my looks, I would have cringed at being in a bathing suit and died before I allowed photos of it to be published.

I guess I’ve gained a lot more than just weight.

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