Don’t tell my mom I suck at dieting.

Diet? I don’t want to talk about no stinkin’ diet. Things have been bad. I think I’ve got them figured out now but the last few weeks have been a disaster when it comes to dieting. I’ve been too ashamed to go to my Weight Watchers meetings which completely defeats the purpose because that accountability was supposed to keep me honest. Unfortunately, I found out that you can miss meetings without getting in trouble. Yeah, that’s how I think. I’m stuck in a high school mentality in which I think I am going to get “in trouble” if I miss a Weight Watchers meeting. I’m not sure what the punishment would be. Dentention? Suspension? Or (Dear God, No) a note home to my parents!!!!! Anyway,< sigh>my weight continues to be a struggle.

I am still nursing the baby and I cut down my points because she is starting to eat more solids. If you are nursing full time, you get 10 extra points, if your baby gets supplements or solids you only get 5 extra points. However, since I was pumping and my baby was nursing in the middle of the night, my body didn’t know I wasn’t nursing a newborn. The result: absolute starvation. I would stick to my points for a day or two and then be so hungry and without control that I would binge on everything within a 10 mile radius. It was not good.

I am cutting down on my pumping. I’m hoping that can help control the appetite some. I have mixed feelings about it, since it may result in me having to supplement with formula. Logically, I have no problem with that but still I feel guilty. I’m not just doing it for weight loss though. I still haven’t gotten my postpartum AF back and my husband and I have decided that we like our baby so much we want another. Time is of the essence there.&

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